yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
