Are we in a gay sports bar?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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