Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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