IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
