So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize