so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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