ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He shit in the fireplace
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
