and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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