Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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