It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
