did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
