Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
