we're blogging at a bar
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Randomize
