reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
