maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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