Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
