So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
