sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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