i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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