The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
