Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
