there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
