That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I could fuck to npr.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
