is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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