So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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