what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We smell like vodka and hangover
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
