I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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