Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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