You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
