i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
