at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think a kid would responsible me up
Vodka?
Forever.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
