he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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