were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
