just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
