ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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