I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
