Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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