Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
