i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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