So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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