i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
