my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize