never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
