it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize