She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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