Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The air was thick with penises
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
