My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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