I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
