Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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