Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
