He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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