he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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