Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
