Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
