NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
