The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
