Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
