**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
