I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
