I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
