I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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