If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
